To my precious miracle baby, on the momentous occasion of your first birthday...
Where do I begin? It seems like just yesterday, your daddy and I were spending every night on our knees begging God to allow us to become parents again. Your precious big sister was very lonely and wanted a baby sister so very badly. Daddy and I were heartbroken, because we thought we would never be able to give her a baby sister that she so desperately wanted. Every evening, while we prayed our prayers, Libby would whisper, "Dear God, please give me a baby sister. Amen." And for three years, we waited and prayed. We came very close when Libby was about 3, in fact you even have another brother or sister waiting for us up in Heaven. After we lost that baby, Daddy and I were devastated. I didn't think I could go through anymore pain or heartbreak. However, something inside of me, and your big sister, kept pushing me to continue praying and hoping for you.
Finally, Daddy and I made a very big decision. We drove all the way down to Florida to meet a special doctor who was going to help us have another baby. We were very, very scared and anxious. After the loss of our second baby, we were afraid we might never get to meet you. On the way down to meet the doctor, there was a very bad storm, in fact, it was so bad we had to pull over and let the storm pass. When we got back on the interstate, the clouds began to clear, and there was a beautiful rainbow over the horizon. It was at that very moment that I felt such enormous peace about our trip. I knew that God was sending me a sign that you were waiting to meet us as well! One day I will tell you all about the special doctor that helped Daddy and me to welcome you into the world. One day you will understand the sacrifices and pain that I went through to welcome you into our family. One day you will hold your own baby girl and understand the enormous longing and love that Daddy and I felt, the longing that drove us to make those special trips over and over again.
I want you to also know how much that Libby wanted you to be here. She also sacrificed a lot to allow Mommy and Daddy to spend so much time and money waiting for you to be here. She spent many trips with us down to Florida and was very patient with me during my pregnancy. When I was tired and my back hurt, she would patiently play alongside the couch and talk about all of the fun she was going to have with her new baby sister. We took her shopping for baby clothes and toys and we read lots of books about babies and being a big sister. She even had her own matching bracelet at the hospital when you were born. Please remember how much she loves you. One day, she might forget about how much fun you are, and she might not want to share her toys and clothes with you. One day, she may even leave you at home while she goes out with friends. I want you to know, that one day, when you are older, she will become your BEST FRIEND. She will be the one person that you can always count on to make you laugh, comfort you when you break up with your first boyfriend, and stand by your side when Mommy and Daddy aren't there anymore.
I am writing all of these things, so that one day, when you are older, maybe you will be a little more patient with Mommy when I make mistakes. I want you to know, Mommy and Daddy are NOT perfect. We are human and we make mistakes. Sometimes, Mommy will have to miss a playschool party or a field trip, because I have to work. Sometimes, I won't be able to bake cupcakes for your birthday, I will have to buy them instead. Sometimes, I will make you mad and discipline you. But, at the end of the day, you and your sister are the most important thing in the world to me and Daddy, so I hope that you will forgive me. I hope you will always remember that your Mommy and Daddy love you and waited for you for a very long time. You are exactly what we prayed for and so much more! You are my beautiful, precious miracle baby. Full of life, laughter and so much joy to everyone you encounter.
I love you doodle bug!
Mommy
