Still waiting

So, now we are waiting. We had a very successful yardsale this weekend, raised $500. That will cover half of the cost of medications. Hubby, me and mom are making the long trip to Jacksonville next Tuesday for my sono hysterogram and ultrasound with mock transfer. I am so anxious to start! I feel like a little kid waiting for Christmas. While laying in bed last night, I told Brad, "I am so excited about July. I cannot wait to be pregnant again!" It is such a longing and I am sooo excited that it's going to be here so soon.

I will admit,that I am still grieving over the loss of our last baby. I also admit that I will probably always mourn the fact that Brad and I cannot have a "normal, surprise pregnancy". From all of the reading and research I have done into the psychology of infertility, this seems to be a very normal feeling. Women are meant to have babies, and for those of us who work so hard and wait so long to become mommies, this is very hard to accept that we cannot have babies like the rest of the world. Imagine failing at the one thing that EVERY female mammal is meant to do. It's a tough pill to swallow. I am ready to hold my baby in my arms, and ready to move on with the rest of my life. Please God, let it be soon!